So I'm thinking, if people are interested, I may occasionally do LJ entries about grammar rules and how I remember them. Because I have to remember so many of them, every day, and I certainly don't remember them in the way they taught me in English class (hell if I know what half the parts of speech are called). I just know what sounds right. :P So I thought maybe that would be helpful to give tips, if people are interested. I could take questions too! :)

LOL. Yes, I know this is incredibly dorky, but grammar is one of those things I'm good at, and I'd like to help people who may have great story ideas but are a little iffy on the execution (of course, word would have to be spread about it because there are like, what, five people reading this now? lol).

Anyway, let me know what you think.

So I felt the need to write a new entry, just because I haven't in a long time. The problem is I don't have much to talk about, and not really anyone to read it either. But I would really like to get more involved with the LJ community, and my life is pretty boring. So... I guess I'll just talk about my current project.

The last time I tried writing a murder-mystery, I was in high school. It was... well, not good. This time I've vowed to make one that's decent and unpredictable. I don't know how well I'm succeeding at that, but I'm certainly trying. I believe Falling will be a decent read. I hope.

But it really is hard. As a reader, I know that just the slightest wrong word can set the reader on the track that you don't want them on. I have to be very, very careful to not tip my hand before I want to.

And then there's the problem of balance. While I don't want to put anything out there that will make eagle-eyed readers suspect the real killer, I also don't want to leave it so devoid of clues that there's no chance they'll guess it. That's really not fair. (This is what I did in my first murder-mystery -- my method of preventing the killer from being guessed was by not having him in the story until the end. I was such a cheater!) So I've been trying really hard to drop in subtle sort-of hints that won't tip off the reader but later they'll go back and say, "Oh, it was obvious!"

Or so I hope. :-P

The other problem isn't the murder-mystery part; it's the static location parts. When the entire story takes place in just one or two spots, it's hard to keep the story moving. I feel at times like things are just slogging along without a change of scenery. May be something I have to go back and rework after the story's done.

So yeah, it's been a lot of work, and I have a whole new respect for authors who can tightly and effectively wrap up a suspenseful murder-mystery without cheating. I only hope when I'm done with Falling, the reader comes away surprised and satisfied and not angry and grumbly. We'll find out, I guess. I'm three chapters from the end!

That is all.

Once again, I have nothing to say and have not made use of this journal. My life just isn't very interesting. I really just use this to manage subscriptions. :-P Anyway, for anyone interested in me, I point you to my Fiction Press profile, a site which gets much of my attention thanks to my interest in writing. http://www.fictionpress.com/~thedarkscribe

I was cleaning out my bookmarks last night and came across my link to this LJ. Believe it or not, I'd COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN IT EXISTED. Yes, after months and months of pouring my heart into it to help me get over my divorce, somehow it just... I don't know, slipped my mind that it was even here.

So my last post was a year and a half ago. And I feel kind of bad about that, not necessarily because anyone was reading it (I know there were a few), but because I can go back and read what I wrote, and it's FASCINATING. Not to anyone else, I'm sure, but to me it is. I've been separated from it long enough now that I barely remember writing any of it. It feels like someone else wrote it, though I know it was me. So I'm kind of sad that I didn't keep up with it.

So... Here I am, back in the world of the LJ living. I don't know if anyone will be looking at this anymore, but that's OK. It's more for me, anyway. Though if anyone wants to read this and friend me or whatever, that's fine too. :-)

I'd like to update what's happened in my life since that last entry, but I'm at work right now and shouldn't even be writing this. So an update will come later. Just know that I'm in a much, much better place than I was in 2006, and I'm on the verge of some major changes in my life (another reason to kickstart this baby again).

So to the two or three people who'd been keeping up with me (especially you, Simer), I'm sorry for vanishing into the void, and I hope we can reconnect again.

So I had a few voicemails this week from Dale something-or-other at KFOR 1240 radio. Apparently, he wants me to talk to him about video games and stuff on his show!

First thought: Wow! That's awesome!

Second thought: Oh my God, I'm going to throw up.

I can't talk. Go ahead, laugh, those who know I talk nonstop. I can talk just fine when it comes to people I know and normal conversations, but when it comes to big-pressure situations, such as, say, doing a radio interview, I blank. I just know I'm going to sit there and go, "Duhhhh."

But I'm not going to say no. This is too awesome an opportunity to pass up, and I know they can do things to make me not sound like a complete moron. I don't know any details yet, because so far we've just played phone tag, but I'll let you all know when I know something.

So that leaves the question: Am I a freaking local celebrity?! 'Cause that would be *awesome*. :-D

Is it just me or does it seem like the year is flying? I can't believe it's almost October. Though I'm glad because that's my favorite month. Yay for cooler weather, leaves and Halloween!

I know I haven't posted in a long time. Honestly, I just haven't felt like it. But rest assured, I'm fine. Everything is going great. Everything involving the divorce has been taken care of, and I've almost finished everything involving my stupid dog slipping out of his collar. I went to court last week, pleaded no contest to "Dog running at large" and paid the city $94. I could go on about how ridiculous the whole thing is, but that would just get me worked up again. Anyway, I now have Sammy enrolled in obedience class, and that will get him taken off the city's "potentially dangerous dog" list. Again, I could talk about how stupid *that* is, but I don't want to kill anyone. We're already short-handed at work. ;-)

Anyway, I'm just letting anyone who cares know I'm still alive. Pretty soon I'll start drowning in video games and the stress of reviewing two new systems, but for now, He-Who-Shall-No-Longer-Be-Named is out of my life, everything is cool, and I'm happy.

Finally got around to finding the black pants that were part of my motivation for losing weight... Not only do they fit again, but they're actually a little loose! Whoo hoo!

New boy *definitely* a good thing. :-D

Down 14 pounds. Hell yeah! :-D

Well, family just left after almost a week visiting me. I'm kind of sad. It's always good to see them. Although it will be nice to have my apartment back to myself, and be able to sleep in my bed again. And to sleep later than 8. :-P But it was a nice time. I'd be more sad if I wasn't going home next month to see them yet again, in a fluke of vacation scheduling (okay, not really a fluke; more like having a week I usually use with Rocky but had nothing to use it for this year).

Highlight of the week: Visiting the "budgie encounter" at the Omaha zoo (the colorful little birds people have as pets), and my sister, upon seeing the hundreds of them hopping around on the ground, saying: "Wow, it looks like a pet shop exploded!" Hehe.

Met a guy. Think I like him. He's definitely interested. We'll see what happens. :-D

The time has come for me to get off my butt. I need exercise, and I need a change in my diet. So starting Thursday ('cause I can't start on my days off, and I need to get groceries), no more fast food. I'd already cut way back, but it needs to go away completely. No more random little junk food at work or at home, either. More fruits and vegetables. I should probably do away with pop too, but that may be a little too hard; I'm kind of addicted to Diet Mt. Dew.

I need to figure out something for exercise. Now that I don't have the gym membership anymore, I have to come up with stuff on my own. I'm going to play tennis Wednesday morning, and hopefully I can get that going again. I have my bike, so that's an obvious choice - I need to start doing that regularly. I'm even thinking about running... But I don't know about that. I've never been a big fan of running (despite six years of track in middle school and high school. lol). It and my asthma have never really gotten along. But there's a great jogging path encircling my apartment complex, and I should put it to use. I'm thinking maybe to make it more, well, not fun, but interesting, I'll do a dog run. Like, take one dog, go out and run around the apartments once, then go back and get out the other dog and do it again. Hmm... But that might just be a disaster waiting to happen.

Either way, things are going to change. And maybe eventually I'll be able to fit in the black pants I love so much again. :-P

I just went through and took the pictures of Rocky off one of my WebShots albums. I'd forgotten all about those. In a way, it kind of sucked, because I was always the one taking pictures when we went places, and some of them, even though he was in it, were kind of cool.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, looking at the other pictures makes me really want to go somewhere. I don't know where, specifically. I just really like to travel, to check out new places. I've gone somewhere every summer for the past four years (usually dragging Rocky along; I'm sure he'd have preferred to stay home and work on his car), and this is the first year I'm not going anywhere. I don't have anyone to go with me now, and I'm not sure I'm brave enough to take off to somewhere thousands of miles away by myself. I just really miss it. Every trip has been the highlight of my year, and I love (*love*) taking pictures as I go.

I don't know where I'd go next. I've been a lot of places out west, so maybe it's time to go east. Maybe the Carolinas? Or maybe I should just hit the Southwest again; I loved it down there.

My favorite trip was two years ago, when I dragged Rocky on a weeklong excursion through Colorado (up Pike's Peak), down through New Mexico and Arizona, to the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam, then up through Utah (Arches National Park and Moab), and back across Colorado to go home. There were so many beautiful things to look at (and photograph), and I enjoyed it immensely. Last year was camping in Yellowstone (again, my idea), and that was also great, despite my car breaking down at the beginning of the trip. Got to see Yellowstone (and cursed my not having the money for a better camera and a zoom lens) and the Grand Tetons. There was also the summer of my internship in Washington, in which I could have flown to California for the two-week training, but I chose instead to drive out, so I got to see Salt Lake City, Nevada, spend a day in San Francisco on the way there; drive across Oregon on my way to Spokane; visit Seattle; and then see Idaho, Montana and Devil's Tower on the way back. I also made a trip to Canada by myself while I was in Spokane. About five years ago, we drove down to New Orleans on a whim, which was awesome, especially considering last year's hurricane, so I got to see it before all that. I only wish I'd had a digital camera at the time, because I got some good pictures (of course, I could just scan them...)

And of course, there was Ireland with Danielle, which was just amazing. Maybe that's what I need to do: Save enough money to go back to Europe. There are so many places I want to see.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I just feel this longing to hit the road and go somewhere, and I know it won't happen, at least this year. My vacation time is already claimed. Maybe next year I'll be brave and just take off. We'll see, I guess.

No, that's not a "Charmed" reference. I never could get into that show.

After six months of nothing, I finally got myself past the writer's inertia that I've been struggling with. By that, I mean I knew exactly what I wanted to write, I just couldn't seem to get myself started. I've been trying for weeks now, and I keep finding excuses not to. Tonight, though, before I could talk myself out of it, I got out the new notebook (bought just for this new story), the package of special pens, turned on Sirius radio's Area 33 station (through earplugs. Even though I live alone and don't need them, it somehow helps me focus if the sound is *right there* in my head), and got at it.

And now here I am with five notebook pages full of stuff. I realize that's probably not a lot, but in the grand scheme of my nothingness, that's a whole lot. And considering I'm handwriting it all, that's more than enough for hand cramps. I'm halfway through the second chapter now (first chapter was written a long time ago), so that's a great sign. Now if I can just keep it going... My last story filled up a notebook and a half, so I've got a lot of work ahead of me still. Here's hoping it doesn't suck.

On a side note, I'm a proud parent of a graduate. Haha. Libby graduated from obedience class tonight, and I even got a certificate to prove it. ;-) Next up, after summer (and my vacation) is over, it's Sammy's turn. Yes, that big cow is going to learn to listen.

Today was one of those days that stupid, annoying stuff kept happening.

I wake up to find out the water is shut off in my apartment because they're working on the sewer pipes. Great. I take the dogs out, and they try to eat the neighbor's dog, even though I've been working really hard with them not to do that. And then when I bring them back in, I discover apartment management has left yet *another* note on my door saying someone is coming by to inspect the wiring either tomorrow or Wednesday. Making it the sixth freaking time I'll be woken up in the morning to let them in just in the two months since I moved in. And this note says they'll need an hour. An *hour*!

I run over a poor squirrel on my way to work, and feel *really* bad about it (Plus side, the other one that it was playing with escaped). And then when I'm really hungry at work, I go to get the food out of my bag that I brought for dinner, only to discover that in my hurry to leave, I only packed the bowl. Yes, I forgot the *food*.

*siiiigh*

Okay, yes, those are all just unimportant, little things, but come on! On the plus side, I think I wrote a decent column tonight. I hope. I feel like I'm becoming repetitive. But maybe it's just me.

Think I'll go eat some of West's cheesecake to make myself feel better.

I found this interesting, even if it doesn't really apply to me. Personally, I look for *personality*. But maybe that's just me...

Research shows women value looks over money in potential mates

By Lisa Anderson
Chicago Tribune

NEW YORK — Why can't a woman be more like a man? Henry Higgins famously first posed the question 50 years ago in the Broadway debut of Lerner and Loewe's smash musical ``My Fair Lady.''

The words were hardly out of his mouth before women barged into bastions traditionally reserved for men, from the firehouse to the clubhouse to the International Space Station. Even Barbie became an astronaut.

While it may seem like women are doing just about everything once exclusive to males, Scottish researchers believe they have discovered a new area where women, particularly those who are financially independent, are just beginning to mimic men: choosing looks over lucre when shopping for a mate.

``We know that we are becoming more equal in the workplace and the economy. We now know that this ability of women to provide for themselves is causing them to change their mate preferences. Our preferences are becoming more like male preferences,'' said Fhionna Moore, who led the study at the School of Psychology at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland.

Conducted online, the study examined the responses of 1,851 heterosexual women, aged 18 to 35, who were single, in relationships or married. Most of the participants were from the United Kingdom, elsewhere in Europe and the United States.

The study, ``The effects of female control of resources on sex-differentiated mate preferences,'' appears this month in the journal of Evolution and Human Behavior. The title may not be catchy but the findings and their implications are intriguing. Essentially, the results turn the historical rules of sexual pursuit upside-down.

``Historically, if you go all the way back to the cavemen, just like the comedy routine, the man went out and got the meat and brought it back to the woman and the woman prepared it. So, historically, women looked to men to be providers and men, historically, have been criticized as being immediately more struck by the physical appearance of a woman,'' said Daniel Howard, a consumer psychologist, professor and chairman of the marketing department at Southern Methodist University's Cox School of Business in Dallas.

While men chose women whose youth and beauty signaled health and fertility, women had to choose partners who would sustain them during the labor-intensive raising of children when women could not provide for themselves or their offspring, Moore pointed out.

The labor-intensive nature of child rearing hasn't changed, but the financial ability of many women to care for themselves and their families has and that changes the whole equation. ``It's almost as if it were the beginning of a complete role reversal,'' she said.

Well, busy, busy, busy as usual, but man, I've posted the last chapter of Lies of the Heart, and I feel like this great weight has been lifted. lol. It's been hanging over my head for like three months, so close to being done, yet I never had time (or inspiration) to do it. So thank God. Now if only I'd have time to start the fantasy story I've been wanting to write for about six months now but wouldn't let myself until Lies was done...

Saw Static-X in concert last night. Oh my God, it was amazing. This is the second time I've seen them in concert, and both times it was bone-shattering awesome. That Wayne Static is one crrraaaazy guy. It was funny because his looong goatee (with the little rubber band things in it) kept floating around in front of him because of the fan blowing on him. And I have to wonder if he wears his hair like that *all* the time, because his hair has been like that since their debut album like eight years ago. That's a long-ass time for your hair to stick straight up. Anyway, I can't help but think that if he had a more normal appearance, he'd be damn hot. ;-)

Right, so I'm PUMPED!

Going to bed. Going to wake up and go to the dentist, where he will proceed to knock me out, and I will wake up with no wisdom teeth. And probably lots and lots of pain and suffering. And hunger that I won't be able to sate.

Can't wait!

I keep reading about all this terrible stuff happening in New Orleans, and more and more people are dead, and I'm sad about the city being destroyed. I visited it once a few years ago, and I just loved it. There was so much history and great architecture, and now it may all be ruined. I guess that makes me a horrible person.

At the same time, I can't help thinking that people do this every time. They're told to get out, but they don't, and then they die. Call me callous, but that just seems really stupid to me, and it makes me feel a little less sorry for them. I understand there are people who physically *couldn't* leave, but it's the others that really frustrate me. One of the guys at work put it this way: "People who die in a hurricane are like people killed by the mummy. All they have to do is get out of the way!" I guess that explains how I feel too. Still, I really hope the situation gets better soon; it's done nothing but get worse since it started.

Well, this is comforting. :-P